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 DAILY ISLAMIC REMINDERS.  Yaumul al-ithnayn. 3rd day of Ramadhan. (Monday, 4th of April, 2022). What level of intimacy are we allowed between spouses? Are we allowed to flirt, gently touch, kiss, or hug our spouses while fasting. Bismillah. 


In optional fasts, all the above-mentioned acts are permitted so long as one does not engage in sexual intercourse. In obligatory fasts like Ramadan, one is allowed to do these ONLY IF one can control himself or herself. Breaking a Ramadhan fast through sexual intercourse is a serious offence; it entails a severe form of kaffarah (expiation), which involves fasting two months consecutively; if one cannot do this, one must feed sixty poor persons for a single day of fast.

Therefore, no conscientious Muslim should contemplate such activities while fasting if there is a risk of overstepping the boundaries. If there is no such fear, then light touching, or kissing, etc., when not accompanied by sexual desire, is permissible. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked by a young man whether he can kiss his wife while fasting, he replied, "No", but when an elderly person came and asked him the same question, he replied, "Yes".

Reasons for this are clear: While it may be easier for an elderly person to control himself, that may not be the case with respect to a young person.

As far as the Prophet's own example is concerned, his beloved wife, our mother A'ishah may ALLAH be pleased with her  reports that the Prophet used to kiss his wives whiles​ he was fasting. But then she added the following comment, "Who among you can control his sexual desire as the Prophet himself was able to control?"

In conclusion, since each person knows his own weaknesses better than others, he should exercise his own discretion in this matter. Thus, he is best advised to take necessary precautions when dealing with mandatory fasts. In case of voluntary fasts, however, because it does not involve any serious consequences if one were to break it because of uncontrollable sexual desire, the issue is far more flexible. 


May ALLAH keeps guiding us through our little efforts to act only for His sake. Aameen.

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