THE DAILY ISLAMIC REMINDERS. Yaum Al-Khamis, 1st day of Rajab, 1440, (Thursday, 7th March, 2019). PROCESS OF DIVORCE IN ISLAM THAT MUST BE FOLLOWED CONTINUES. BismilLaahir Rahmaanir Raheem. Let's continue from yesterday's reminder. Islam outlines certain steps that need to take place both before, during, and after a divorce. The needs of both parties are considered. Any children of the marriage are given top priority. Guidelines are given both for personal behavior and legal process. Following these guidelines may be difficult, especially if one or both spouses feel wronged or angry. Strive to be mature and just. Remember ALLAH'S words in the Quran: "The parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness." (Surah al-Baqarah, 2:229). The Quran says: “And if you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbiter from his relatives and an arbiter from her relatives. If they both desire reconciliation ALLAH will effect harmony between them. Verily ALLAH has full knowledge, and is aware of everything.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:35). A marriage and a possible divorce involve more people than just the two spouses. It affects children, parents, and entire families. Before a decision is made about divorce, then, it is only fair to involve family elders in an attempt at reconciliation. Family members know each party personally, including their strengths and weaknesses, and would hopefully have their best interests at heart. If they approach the task with sincerity, they may be successful in helping the couple work their issues out.​ Some couples are reluctant to involve family members in their difficulties. One must remember, though, that a divorce would affect them as well in their relationships with grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc. and in the responsibilities they would face in helping each spouse develop an independent life. So the family will be involved, one way or the other. For the most part, family members would prefer the opportunity to help while it is still possible. If this attempt fails, after all due efforts, then it is recognized that divorce may be the only option. The couple proceeds to pronouncing a divorce. The procedures for actually filing for divorce depend on whether the move is initiated by the husband or the wife. When a divorce is initiated by the husband, it is known as talaq. The pronouncement by the husband may be verbal or written, and should only be done once. Since the husband is seeking to break the ​marriage contract, the wife has full rights to keep the dowry (mahr) paid to her. If the wife initiates a divorce, there are two options. In the first case, the wife may choose to return her dowry to end the marriage. She forgoes the right to keep the dowry since she is the one seeking to break the marriage contract. This is known as khul'a. On this topic, the Quran says, "It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by ALLAH. There is no blame on either of them if she gives something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by ALLAH so do not transgress them" (Quran 2:229). In the second case, the wife may choose to petition a judge for divorce, with cause. She is required to offer proof that her husband had not fulfilled his responsibilities. In this situation, it would be unjust to expect her to also return the dowry. The judge makes a determination based on the facts of the case and the law of the land. Depending on where you live, a separate legal process of divorce may be required. This usually involves filing a petition with a local court, observing a waiting period, attending hearings, and obtaining a legal decree of divorce. This legal procedure may be sufficient for an Islamic divorce if it also satisfies Islamic requirements. In any Islamic divorce procedure, there is a three-month waiting period before the divorce is finalized. After a declaration of divorce, Islam requires a three-month waiting period (called the iddah) before the divorce is finalized. During this time, the couple continues to live under the same roof​ but sleeps apart. This gives the couple time to calm down, evaluate the relationship, and perhaps reconcile. Sometimes decisions are made in haste and anger, and later one or both parties may have regrets. During the waiting period, the husband and wife are free to resume their relationship at any time, thus ending the divorce process without the need for a new marriage contract. Another reason for the waiting period is a way of determining whether the wife is expecting a child. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period continues until after she has delivered the child. During the entire waiting period, the wife has the right to remain in the family home and the husband is responsible for her support. If the waiting period is completed without reconciliation, the divorce is complete and takes full effect. The husband's financial responsibility for the wife ends, and she often returns to her own family home. However, the husband continues to be responsible for the financial needs of any children, through regular child support payments. May ALLAH keep guiding our marriages and protect our marriages from any satanic influences. Aameen.