THE DAILY ISLAMIC REMINDERS. Yaumul Ithnayn, 10th day of Rabee-uthaani 1440, (Monday, 17th December, 2018).
HOW CAN WE BENEFIT FROM FORGIVING OTHERS. BismilLaahir Rahmaanir Raheem.
For the past two days, we have studied about some rewards of forgiveness. Let's continue to find out how forgiving others can benefit us.
Gaining Strength;
Psychologists have said that the inability to forgive may cause a person to repeatedly bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. The hurt and insecurity caused by our offender is projected onto others, because we were not able to move on from our previous experience.
We are not being asked to condone what others have done to us, but rather we should acknowledge that they have hurt us and it was wrong. We should reflect on why this was hurtful, what may have been the motives of the person who hurt us, and what we should learn. And then we should move on, because we cannot change the past, but we can certainly use it to empower ourselves and become better people, beizni-Allah.
When we take the step to learn from a hurtful experience, we should be able to prevent ourselves from doing the same to others. Many times we condemn what we do ourselves, we are hurt that someone has spoken behind our backs, but we backbite all the time. We feel slighted when we are not appreciated by our parents, but never once did we recognize and thank others for the things they do for us. This introspection should help us to gain greater clarity into our own dealings with people.
Another psychological effect of forgiving others is that it teaches us sympathy. When we let go of anger, we can better understand those who are put in the same situation that we were in previously. Sometimes it helps us to not demonize the person who hurt us; the specific thing that they did may have been bad, but when we step back, we sometimes learn that they have their own baggage that caused them to act in a certain way. This is not to condone what they did, but it is to enable us to see that the world is not always so black and white.
Healthy mind and healthy body;
The inability to forgive affects us spiritually and psychologically, and furthermore, has a detrimental effect on our health. One study showed that people who focused on a personal grudge had increased blood pressure and heart rates, as well as increased muscle tension and feelings of being less in control. Participants in this study were asked to imagine forgiving their wrongdoers, and they said they felt more positive and relaxed and thus, the changes disappeared. Alhamdulillah. Let's strive to forgive others and hope for ALLAH to forgive us.
May ALLAH give us the strength to forgive others for their faults, and to forgive us for our own. Aameen.
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