THE DAILY ISLAMIC REMINDERS. YaumulArbaā, 28th day of Rabeeul Awwal 1440, (Wednesday, 5th December, 2018). Tips to a successful marriage continues. BismilLahir Rahmaanir Raheem. Let's continue from our topic last Monday on the above topic . Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities of life, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (By Imam Muslim). Be Your Mate's Best Friend. Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life. Spend Quality Time Together. It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum. Express Feelings Often. Some Muslims think that expressing your feelings towards your spouse regularly is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but that's wrong mentality my dear. It is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything. Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness. Just as we ask ALLAH to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally increase the problem. If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated and I finalise by saying ALLAH knows best. May ALLAH (Al-Haaliq, The CREATOR) protect our marriages and bless those planning with good partners. Aameen.