THIRD REMINDER. Yaumul Ahad, 2nd day of Jumaadal Aakhir (Sunday 18th February). HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE?. BismilLahir Rahmaanir Raheem. Let's continue from the first and second Reminders; Getting someone to help: Marriage is not something to throw yourself into all by yourself. Getting the help of someone, especially parents, relatives, an Imam, and/or respected and trustworthy members of the Muslim community to either look for the right spouse or initiate and participate in a communication process is very important. Involving others, by the way, does not mean signing over your right to say yes or no to a marriage proposal. It simply increases the likelihood of finding out important information about a prospective partner in a way that maintains rules of Islamic modesty (i.e. not meeting alone, see next point). Getting that third party involved also helps verify if the person you are interested in is decent, honest and respectful. This person(s) often checks out references, asks about the individual's character and behavior, and looks out for your best interest in general. This person should be a trustworthy Muslim, since you are seeking a Muslim in marriage, and would want someone familiar with the Islamic way of doing things. For those blessed with Muslim parents, remember that they are probably your best allies and helpers in seeking the right husband or wife. They have known you all of your life, and have your best interest at heart. However, parents must be open and attentive to what their children are looking for, and never forget the element of choice. Ultimately, it is their son or daughter who is going to make the final decision. They must never become too pushy or aggressive, whether this pressure is being applied on their own son or daughter, or on the person she/he is interested in. Parents recommendations Should be considered seriously to add more Blessings to the Marriage if their recommendations is based on the good attitude of the person. Never ignore your parents because of someone you've just met. Obedience and kindness to Parents is compulsory upon us than even the Marriage so to make them sad because of the Marriage is the beginning of your Marriage disaster. May Allah aid us through our efforts to marry Rightours muslims. Aameen. To read previous or missed Reminders, you can regularly visit islamicdailyreminder.blogspot.com