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SECOND REMINDER. Monday. Tips for the Married Couple continues. BismilLahir Rahmaanir Raheem. Please read the first Reminder first before reading this one and if you didn't receive it please request for a copy Issues on In-laws: In-laws are the focus of blame and reproach when there are marital disputes. But there are ways to maintain a good relationship with them. Here are some tips: Remember your spouse's parents have raised, cared, known them longer and loved them longer. Never make an issue about "me or them". Let respective parties settle their own disputes. If your mother-in-law has a problem with her husband, let them deal with it. Don't interfere. Don't tell your spouse how to improve their relationship with their parents. Expect some adjustment time for parents after marriage to adjust to this new relationship. Remember that mothers are usually skeptical about daughter-in-laws and fathers about son-in-laws. Always treat your in-laws with compassion, respect and mercy. Maintain a balance between your needs and that of your in-laws. Never compare your wife to your mother or your husband to your dad. Do not go to your parents with your quarrels. If you are supporting your parents financially inform your spouse as a matter of courtesy and clarity. Do not forbid your spouse from seeing family unless you fear for their religion and safety. Do not divulge secrets. Make time to know your in-laws but stay out of their disputes. Maintain the Adab (etiquettes) of Islam with your sister- and brother-in-laws (i.e.no hugging or kissing). You are not obliged to spend every weekend with your in-laws. Give grandparents easy and reasonable access to their grandchildren. Be forgiving and keep your sense of humour. Remember that nobody can interfere or influence your marriage unless you allow them to. Invite in-laws at least once a month for a meal. Visit them when you can and encourage your spouse to visit their parents and regularly check on them. When parents become dependent on their children, a serious discussion with all parties present should take place. Expectations and requirements of such a living arrangement must be worked out. To be continued in shaa Allah. May Allah aid us to apply what we learn to our marriages and upcoming marriages. Aameen.

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