SECOND REMINDER. Yaumul Ahad, 2nd day of Jumaadal Aakhir (Sunday 18th February). HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE?. BismilLahir Rahmaanir Raheem. Let's continue from the first reminder; 2. If you're looking for a spouse, please lower your gaze. This may seem like a contradiction, but it's not. Looking for a spouse who has the right qualities and whom you are physically attracted to does not mean throwing out the obligation to lower the gaze for both sexes. Allah says “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Indeed! Allah is aware of what they do” (Quran 24:30). “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms...” (Quran 24:31). “Scoping the territory”, from this perspective, would not be Islamically acceptable. Looking at the face of potential mate is recommended according to the Hadith in which the Prophet said: “When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. ...” (Abu Dawud). This means the two potential spouses can look at each other but not staring at each other. There is no limit on the number of times the two people can look at each other. However, both should fear Allah and remember the purpose of this is to satisfy the need for physical attraction to the person you are marrying. Please note that it is NOT permissible for a man to see a potential wife without Hijab, since he is not her Mahram (a relative with whom marriage is not possible, or her husband). Seeing her face and hands in the presence of an adult relative are enough to determine attraction. To be continued In shaa Allah. May Allah bless our marriages and aid those planning to marry. Aameen.